Talk2TessaPSYCHOLOGIST-DESIGNED SELF-HELPListen to a preview
YOU COUNT TOO BY TALK2TESSA

Designed by Tessa, MSc Psychologist
15+ years of experience treating people in mental health care

You make room
for everyone.
Include yourself.

Notice what you need before another automatic yes. Find words for a request or a limit. Know how to support yourself when the guilt shows up afterward.

Get You Count Too - $27
“I still felt guilty but I kept the evening I needed for myself.”
Alexis · Customer review

$27 USD, one time. Go at your own pace.

A self-paced, psychologist-designed program with in-depth audio guidance, a practical workbook, and a private online library.

Tessa listening with headphones, seated in a cream armchair wearing warm burgundy tones
A PLACE FOR YOUR NEEDS, TOOYou Count Too.
Created by Tessa, MSc Psychologist15+ years of clinical experienceACT-informed + self-compassionYour pace. No daily deadline.
WHAT YOU WILL PRACTICE

Your needs belong
in the conversation.

Knowing you need a boundary is one thing. Finding your words when someone is waiting for an answer is another. You Count Too gives you guidance for before you answer, while you speak, and after the conversation ends.

01

Notice your own needs

Someone asks for a favor. You learn to check your time, energy, and wishes before offering a yes you will struggle to keep.

02

Find words that fit

Ask for help, say what you prefer, or change an earlier yes. Use examples to find a clear sentence that sounds like you.

03

Know what to do afterward

When you replay the conversation or want to take it all back, check what actually happened and decide whether to keep your answer, clarify it, change it, or repair how you spoke.

WHEN CARING LEAVES YOU OUT

You know what they need.
But what about you?

You say yes before you check.

“I said yes before I checked what I could actually give.” You notice your limits only after you have agreed.

You explain until it feels allowed.

“I know what I want to say, but I keep writing another explanation.” You hope the right words will make your needs easier to accept.

You doubt yourself afterward.

“I finally asked for something. Now I feel difficult.” You replay the conversation and feel pulled to take it back.

If you grew up being the easy one, feeling unseen, or becoming responsible early, your own needs may still be the last thing you check. For some people, putting others first became a way to protect closeness or avoid conflict. For others, real responsibilities, habit, or limited support leave little room to pause. Understanding your own pattern helps you choose a response that fits your life.

MEET YOU COUNT TOO

Your own space to listen,
reflect, and practice.

Guided audio, a practical workbook, and an online library to return to when you need it.

A moment with Tessa · 28 seconds

YOU COUNT TOO EXPERIENCES

In their own words.

FROM UNDERSTANDING TO EVERYDAY USE

A pause.
A sentence.
A way back.

A friend asks for another favor. Your week is already full, but “of course” is almost out of your mouth. Here is one way to use the guidance.

TRY A SMALL PART OF THE APPROACH

  1. Before you answer

    Ask: “If I say yes, what will I need to move, give up, or do without?” You notice that helping would mean losing the only evening you have left to rest.

  2. Give yourself words

    “I can’t help this weekend. I need to keep that time free.”

    You can be warm and clear. You do not have to offer another favor to make the sentence acceptable.

  3. When the guilt arrives

    Ask: “Did I break an agreement or speak unkindly, or is it uncomfortable that they wanted a different answer?” If you snapped, you can apologize for your tone without offering time you do not have.

  4. Choose your next step

    If there is no agreement or behavior to repair, try leaving your answer in place for now. “This feels unfamiliar. I can care about my friend and still need this evening.”

The full program helps you work through your own situations, including requests for help, someone else’s disappointment, and a yes you need to reconsider.

IS THIS THE RIGHT FIT?

For the moments
you keep putting yourself last.

You know what everyone else needs

You often consider everyone else first, struggle to name your own needs, or feel guilty after expressing an ordinary preference or boundary.

You have little energy left

Listen to one reflection, choose a situation route, or write one sentence. The library is available from the start. The emails offer guidance without a deadline.

You want support that fits your life

Start with a real conversation or a need you keep putting off. Choose a small step that fits your energy and the life you have today.

EXPERIENCE THE GUIDANCE

After you speak,
the doubt can
get louder.

Hear how the guidance helps you sort through the guilt after expressing a need. Try a small check: is there something to repair, or are you trying to make another person’s disappointment disappear?

A MOMENT WITH TESSA

You said no.
Now you feel guilty.

1:40 guided audio preview

Read the audio transcript

You finally said no. And now you feel guilty.

You keep thinking about their reply. Maybe it was just, "Okay." And you're already wondering whether to explain more, apologize, or say you can do it after all.

Before you send that message, let's slow the decision down a little.

What do you know happened, and what are you afraid it means?

You declined a request. They gave a short reply. Those are things you know. "They're angry with me. I've let them down." Those might be worries you're having. A short message alone doesn't tell you the whole story.

Now ask yourself: is there something specific I want to put right?

If you snapped, you can acknowledge that. "I'm sorry for how I spoke. I could have said it more kindly. I still can't take on the extra task."

You can repair the way you spoke without offering time you don't have.

And if you were respectful, kept your agreements, and haven't learned anything that changes your decision, you can pause before sending another explanation.

They may be disappointed. You may feel uncomfortable. That deserves care, but it doesn't settle whether your answer needs changing.

For tonight, try this: "I can feel guilty and still take a moment before I act."

In You Count Too, we also look at what happens before that automatic yes. How to notice your own needs, check what you can realistically give, and find words that sound like you.

Then we work with what comes afterward, so you're not left alone with a sentence you were brave enough to say.

You don't have to become less caring. We're practicing how to include you in that care, too.

Get You Count Too - $27
UNDERSTANDING + PRACTICE + SELF-COMPASSION

You do not have to
become less caring.

You can learn to notice when your care stops leaving room for you. Then practice a different response, with support for what comes before and after the conversation.

“What do I need here, before I decide what I can give?”

A question you can return to, even when your answer is not clear yet.

YOUR DIGITAL REFLECTION WORKBOOK

Make it practical.
Make it yours.

Bring a situation from your own life to the page. Explore what you need, what makes it hard to speak, and the words you want to try. Worked examples and thoughtful questions help you move from understanding your pattern to choosing your next step.

Two tablets displaying the You Count Too digital workbook cover and a reflection worksheet on warm limestone with burgundy fabric
A You Count Too moment card displayed on a phone beside burgundy fabric and warm limestone
SOMETHING SMALL TO RETURN TO

Keep a little support
within reach.

Save the six moment cards to your phone. Return to a question or an example sentence when you need time to answer, want to ask for help, or feel the urge to take back a thoughtful limit.

A small reminder for the moment you need it, even on a day when you have little energy left.

You Count Too library on a laptop and the real guided audio page on a tablet
A CLEAR WAY INTO THE LIBRARY

Start with
your situation.

You said yes and now regret it. You need help but cannot find a way to ask. You said no and keep checking your phone. Open the route that matches your moment, with questions, example sentences, and a next step together in one place.

  • Before you answer: check what you need and what you can give.
  • When you speak: find words and prepare for pushback.
  • Afterward: work through guilt without automatically taking it back.
Get You Count Too - $27
THE GUIDED ROUTE

Depth you can
take at your own pace.

Seven chapters help you understand why your needs get pushed aside, practice a different response, and meet yourself with more compassion. Each one offers a small step you can take into your day.

01   Why being easy can become a habit

Understand what adapting has helped you avoid, and what it costs you now.

02   What you need before you answer

Notice what you need and what you can realistically give before another automatic yes.

03   A pause can be your first boundary

Give yourself time to find your answer.

04   Words that include you

Practice requests, limits, and changes to an earlier yes.

05   When their reaction feels like your responsibility

Hear another person without immediately changing your answer.

06   Meeting the guilt afterward

Work through the doubt after speaking up, without automatically taking your words back.

07   Let care reach you

Ask for practical support and practice receiving it.

Tessa seated at a table in a warm, softly lit room
CREATED BY TESSA, MSC PSYCHOLOGIST

Care for others.
A place for you.

I’m Tessa, an MSc Psychologist with over 15 years of experience treating people in mental health care, from general practice and specialized psychiatric care to independent psychology practice.

In my work, I have seen that understanding a pattern does not always give you the words you need in a difficult moment. I created You Count Too to bring those parts together: understanding yourself, practicing a response, and caring for yourself afterward.

The guidance draws on ACT and self-compassion, with safety, pacing, and choice at its heart. My academic background is in Health & Social Psychology and Psychology & Neuroscience at Maastricht University.

I’ve also learned to listen more closely to my own needs. As a mother of two, I know that useful support needs to fit into a full day.

More about my background and approach
YOUR NEXT STEP / YOU COUNT TOO

Support for the moment.
Skills to return to.

$27

One-time payment of $27 USD. No subscription.

  • Seven chapters: understand your pattern, notice your needs, speak up, and practice receiving care.
  • Ten situation routes: find guidance for a difficult moment without working through everything.
  • Fourteen in-depth audios: listen with readable transcripts to return to.
  • A practical workbook: worked examples, reflection exercises, and your own pause plan and return card.
  • Six moment cards + ten guidance emails: short reminders and gentle invitations to use what you learn.
  • One private library: chapters, audios, and downloads together, with no daily deadline.
Get You Count Too - $27

After payment, your access guide and downloads arrive by email. Everything in the library is available from the start.

BEFORE YOU BEGIN

Thoughtful answers.
A clearer next step.

What will this help me do in everyday life?

You will practice checking your needs before agreeing, asking for time, choosing clear words, and looking at the guilt afterward. You will build your own pause plan, adaptable sentences, and a personal return card, so you have something useful to reach for in a real conversation.

What makes this more than a workbook or a list of boundary scripts?

The guidance supports the whole moment: understanding your pattern, preparing a response, speaking, and meeting what comes afterward. Seven chapters connect in-depth audio reflections with practical worksheets. Ten situation routes help you find a next step without searching through everything.

What if I am too tired to do a whole program?

Begin with one situation card or listen without writing. Each chapter has one small step, with optional deeper reflection. Everything is available from the start. The emails guide you back gently; there are no deadlines, daily assignments, or catch-up tasks.

Can I use this if I do not know what I need?

Yes. Start with something ordinary: a preference you keep dismissing, a request that feels like too much, or a moment when you wish you had spoken up. The questions help you find words for what matters to you, even when your answer is not clear yet.

Can You Count Too help if these patterns are connected to CPTSD or childhood trauma?

It may feel relevant if prolonged stress or early emotional responsibility taught you to focus on other people, hide your needs, overgive, or feel guilty when you set a limit. You Count Too is psychologist-designed educational self-help, not trauma treatment or EMDR. You do not need to revisit or describe traumatic events. The focus stays on noticing how an old pattern affects your life now and beginning to include yourself again.

Is this suitable if I am neurodivergent or highly sensitive?

You can use written examples instead of speaking aloud, keep your eyes open, skip body-focused prompts, and take additional processing time. The exercises make room for sensory load and changing capacity. You do not need to mask, force eye contact, or respond immediately. Needs vary; this is not a specialized ADHD or autism treatment.

Can I use this while recovering from burnout?

The capacity checks and small requests can help you put words to your limits and ask for practical support alongside your recovery. On low-energy days, use one card and leave the rest. The program does not treat or promise to prevent burnout, and it cannot replace changes to demands, working conditions, or professional care.

Will I stop feeling guilty when I say no?

You do not need to become guilt-free to make a thoughtful choice. You will learn to check the facts, notice whether something needs repair, and respond with self-compassion. Sometimes the next step is keeping a limit; sometimes it is clarifying, adjusting, or apologizing for how you spoke.

Do I have to follow the chapters in order?

No. Begin with the situation you recognize, or follow the seven chapters for a deeper understanding. Everything is there from the start, so you can return to what helps whenever you need it.

What is included in the $27 purchase?

Your purchase includes seven chapters, fourteen guided audios, ten situation routes, the reflection workbook, six moment cards, a personal return card, transcripts, and ten gentle guidance emails.

Is this personal therapy or direct support from Tessa?

You Count Too is a self-paced program created by me, rather than individual therapy or private support. If speaking up could put you at risk of threats or retaliation, seek confidential support suited to your situation.

YOU COUNT TOO

You can care about them.
And count yourself in.

Begin with one moment: an automatic yes, a request you keep postponing, or the doubt after speaking up. Find guidance for understanding what you need, choosing your words, and caring for yourself afterward.

Get You Count Too - $27

$27 USD, one time. Go at your own pace.